so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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