Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
