he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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