I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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