Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
