is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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