There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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