i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
