I have demons in me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
