I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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