I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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