i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
