Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
