He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
