I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
