I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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