Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize