okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
