She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
