Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
