Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
