How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
