You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
