she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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