I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
