Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
