you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
