What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
did you just send me my own nude
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
