At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
