I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
