If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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