So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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