so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
