he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My bed smells like the plague
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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