I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
