twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
