Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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