you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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