Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
