please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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