if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
