Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
