I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
3pm strippers are depressing
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We smell like vodka and hangover
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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