babies were throwing up all over the place
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
