tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
