He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
