it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
