I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
