also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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