It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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