perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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