So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
