That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
