I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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