laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
This toilet bowl is my home.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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