oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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